bloodflood

by smalloween

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01:36
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02:30
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02:50
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about

it's a compilation of feelings from 2015, aka the year my mental illness has became more prominent than ever.

credits

released June 17, 2016

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about

smalloween Anniston, Alabama

i'm charlie and i'm here to sing songs and make you feel something

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Track Name: intro
i remember when, you told me
everything would work out on its own
i remember when, you let me down
Track Name: why did you think i'd be comfortable with unfinished promises?
a cancer of the mind

but I'm still thinking of you

this plagues me

all the time

why am I not good enough for you



all these plans and I am left with nothing

we're these lies to make me comfortable

I looked forward to seeing you

avoiding pains too, "get through"

why can't I do this alone without you

(why can't I do this alone)



paintings went unfinished

I still hate thinking of you

anyway that I drew it

why won't you say i love you too



all these plans and I am left with nothing

we're these lies to make me comfortable

I looked forward to seeing you

avoiding plans to "get through"

why can't I do this alone without you

(I'm learning to)
Track Name: alabama (a story i've imagined way too much)
I won't believe what you say
anymore
No I want to fade away
there's so many trees in Alabama
she said let me please read your dossier





got a jungle in my mind

but no need to wanna

devil plays an ace

don't smoke marijuana

how can I leave when you still wanna?

don't make me go Ill cry to my momma





and I'll go away from Alabama

break my smokes in twos

I'll throw away your spider man pajamas

because you aren't my favorite flu



got a jungle in my mind

but no need to wanna

devil plays an ace

don't smoke marijuana

how can I leave when you still wanna?

don't make me go Ill cry to my momma





nooooooooooo



got a jungle in my mind

but no need to wanna

you've played his game

don't think I'll oughta

how can I sleep when you still wanna?

please let me go Dont cry to your momma
Track Name: alabama pt. 2
I believe a room full of stars
is any room you are in
I want to feel you now
your lavender skin
how you smell like sleep



leaving Alabama to see my Arizona in Southern California where i'll be
never seem alone and kiss in the car we own
together we can finally breathe



a Chinese New Year is everyday i spend with you
no more blue skies just pink
I'll tie your shoes double knot them if I have to
I just can't have you falling like me


I'll be leaving Alabama to see my Arizona in Southern California where we'll be
never seem alone and kiss in the car we own
together we can finally be free
Track Name: a certain water
I've never felt so useless

my biggest fear next to corruption

and you think I make assumptions

I go, with my gut my intuition




you hate that I know you better than yourself

you don't understand that I can't help it

and you hate that I love you more than yourself so push me away fight till I'm gone




I can't act like there's no underlying problems

conflict is the enemy

call me drunk or act like I'm not here

conservatism tied with the fraudulent love



you hate that I know you better than yourself

you don't understand that I can't help it

and you hate that I love you more than yourself so push me away fight till I'm gone
Track Name: x files
there are better things to worry about

but you are afraid of your own shadow

remind yourself that things have a way of working out

please don't scare yourself





when you come home

we can always watch the X files

and when you're ready to sleep

we can discuss what's bothering you

when I cry you can hold me and call me mulder

but I won't cry



I grind my teeth

surrounded by nightmares in sleep

you stay up all night

bills to be paid how will we get through

another month

of tired mouths to feed



cause
Track Name: the voicemail
I haven't heard from my dad

and I guess it makes me a little sad

but who can complain

I'm the one who let him reign



my head my body is doing bad

I can't help but look down, sad

that I'm letting you get to me

why can't you see you can't ruin this luck

I have a dream without you fucking

killing me I'm killing you instead

(have dream without you giving a fuck )



wish you wouldn't lie

wish you wouldn't hide away

you don't get that privilege



wish you would scream

wish you would ache

like you make me you're breaking meeee



my head my body is doing bad

I can't help but look down, sad

that I'm letting you get to me

why can't you see you can't ruin this luck

I have a dream without you fucking

killing me I'm forgiving you instead